Lost In Reality
by JadedVibes
Summary: When Bella's life fell apart in Forks, she fled to Seattle. Two years later, her life has turned for the worse. What happens when a familiar bronze haired green eyed customer walks into her cafe, into her life, and maybe into her heart? AH. Rated T
1. Chapter 1

This is my first fanfiction on this site, so please R&R, and let me know what you think. I rated it T, but there is some minor drug reference FYI.

Most of the Characters are OC, but there is some OOC.

Disclaimer: All recognizable Twilight characters owned by Stephanie Meyer.

Background: (All human)

Bella- 18 yrs old

Alice- 18 yrs old

Edward- 19 yrs old

Emmett- 19 yrs old

Rosalie- 19 yrs old

Jasper-19 yrs old

* * *

Chapter 1: Cliché Front

I stared at the clock over customer service mentally willing the minute hand to move quicker. I started working at this theater about a week ago, and already, I wanted to shoot myself. My coworkers, though annoying, I could deal with. The managers, who were undoubtedly assholes, I could handle. The job itself, which tended to be horribly tedious, could definitely be worse. But when you pile up all of that on top of dealing with customers, it all made me want to scream at the top of my lungs. And then, imagine feeling like that, and having to go on with a fake smile plastered on your face all day. Can you say unbearable?

Not a minute went by in that shitty excuse for a job that I didn't contemplate quitting, but I needed a paycheck at the end of each week if I wanted a place to stay. There were a couple unfortunate times before I moved in with Alex where I had to spend a night or two on the street, and I tried to avoid that situation at all cost.

I guess you could say my life at the moment was no picnic. And I had no reason to think it would be getting better any time soon.

"Bella," I heard from an obnoxious voice in front of me. I reluctantly looked away from the clock to my least favorite, horse faced, blonde manager.

"Yes, Kathy?" I asked, uninterested.

"I don't mean to interrupt you, since you seem to be busy doing absolutely nothing productive, but could you take a break from that and actually do something?" she asked sarcastically. This girl had it in for me the moment I walked through the door. She was always on my back about "keeping busy" and keeping my station "spotless". I swear, I stop moving for a second, and she's already yelling at me.

And that's the thing about working at a theater. In between movie sets, when there are no customers, and everything is restocked and cleaned, there is literally nothing to do. But still, we have to keep busy, even if that means cleaning the already clean counters, pretending to stock, or just staying out of sight, although that can be risky. I already got caught once hiding out in the back room drinking some water, and I almost got fired.

I wasn't in a complacent mood today, so I decided to give her a hard time.

"What would you like me to do, Kathy?" I asked her innocently. "Everything is cleaned and restocked, the lobby is completely empty of customers, and the next set isn't for another hour." I was assigned to working the concession stand, and the person working with me was on his break.

"You can sweep the floor," she replied matter-of-factly.

I looked to the ground behind the concession stand, which I already swept, and noticed a single kernel near the popcorn popper. If I was smart, I would take a broom and pretend to sweep the floor. That's what she wanted me to do. But I didn't feel like being smart today.

I rolled my eyes once my back was turned to her, and slowly bent down to pick up the kernel. As I faced her, I raised one eyebrow, and held it out to her. Then I made a show of tossing it in the nearest trash can.

"All swept," I said mockingly.

"What about the candy?" she asked irritably.

I walked over to the candy cabinet and opened the doors. "All stocked," I said unenthusiastically.

"What about the oil?" she asked knowingly. "You know the warmer has to be fully stocked at all times." That was a stupid rule that no one followed, including me. She thought she had me, but I wasn't about to give her a reason to smile.

"Already took care of it," I lied. Kathy narrowed her eyes at me. Then she smirked, and I knew she was thinking up something sinister. Maybe giving her a hard time wasn't such a great idea…

"Well," she continued, still smirking. "I think the bathrooms could use a good cleaning." Oh, that woman was evil.

I slumped my shoulders in defeat. Bathroom rounds were the worse job, especially for the girls. You might think that guys are messier, but not when it comes to bathrooms. I don't know what it is about those feminine trashcans in each stall, but girls tend to be predictably uncoordinated when it comes to using them.

As I turned my back to Kathy, she decided to rub her victory in. "Make sure you take some rubber gloves. I just came from the bathroom, and it's not a pretty site." With a 

disfiguring grin, and a wink that made me want to slap her, she turned her back and walked away.

I made my way to the storage closet and grabbed some cleaning supplies, including gloves. After checking out the girls' bathroom, I made the executive decision to skip the stalls and just clean the sinks, mirrors, and sweep the floors. Cleaning the stalls was a dirty job, and I was not paid nearly enough to do it.

I quickly made my way back to the concession stand, still void of customers, and luckily void of Kathy. Afraid that Kathy would come back and yell at me again, I took my place behind the concession stand, my butt on the ground with my back up against the cupboards. Nobody could see me there unless they came right up to the stand.

I sighed, happy to be off my feet, and closed my eyes, willing time to move faster again.

"Excuse me," said a high, cheerful voice. I opened my eyes to see a short, pixie-like girl with dark black hair cropped short and spiked. She had a nose stud, and an ear full of piercings. Something about her seemed vaguely familiar, but I shrugged it off. I mentally reminded myself to put my rings and studs back in after I got off of work. Stupid dress code…

"Sorry," I said, getting up and wiping off the dirt from my butt. My first impression of her was that she looked like a tough chick, small as she was. As I stood up, her eyes practically popped open with a huge intake of breath. She recovered quickly, replacing a face of pure shock with pure excitement.

She continued to stare at me, so I asked her, "Can I get you anything?"

"Yes!" she squeaked loudly. "I mean, yes" she recovered, more calmly, with visible effort. "I'll have a large popcorn and a large coke."

"Butter?" I asked vaguely.

"No thank you," she replied, still excited.

"You're Bella Swan, aren't you?" she asked as I was filling her popcorn. Maybe we met? That would explain why she looked familiar. Hopefully I wasn't drunk or something, although it wouldn't be farfetched.

"The one and only," I replied, turning around to smile. "Who's asking?"

"Alice," she replied with a smile. I put down her things on the counter, and backed up to lean my butt against the cabinets behind me. "Alice Brandon?" she asked, almost hopefully.

"Brandon," I repeated, shoving my hands into my pocket. "Alice Brandon…" The name did sound familiar. Where could we have met? Maybe she stayed in Alex's flat at one point, or maybe she was at one of Chris's parties?

"Are you a friend of Alex's?" I asked. She shook her head abjectly.

I dropped my head to the floor. "Hmmm," I sighed, trying to think.

"We went to high school together, Bella," she interrupted me.

I snapped my head back up, and stared at her, with my eyes wide. I don't know what she read on my face, probably some mixture between fear and shock, but she took a small step back. I continued to stare at her, but let my thoughts wander to a place I spent the last two years avoiding: Forks, Washington. Memories flooded through my head a million miles per hour, making my head pound. I closed my eyes willing the tears that threatened to hold off.

After a couple seconds of silence, I slowly shook my head back and forth, trying to reign in the onslaught of memories that threatened to give me a mental breakdown right there. I focused back on Alice, who was still staring at me, most likely trying to figure out if I was crazy.

Once I got myself under control, it took less than a second to place Alice Brandon. She was a girl a year ahead of me, who was always nice to everyone. Very popular, but not bitchy popular. We even hung out a few times. That is, before I shut everyone out; everyone except Charlie. I tightly closed my eyes at the memory of my dad.

"Alice Brandon," I said slowly. "I remember you." I hoped she wouldn't ask any questions. I hoped she would hurry up and get back to her movie. Unfortunately, that was not the case.

"What happened to you?" she asked, almost sadly. She took a step closer to me. I would have stepped back if it wasn't for the cabinets blocking me. I didn't want her pity.

"What do you think happened to me?" I asked defensively. Wasn't it obvious? Didn't the whole town of Forks know what happened to me?

"I'm sorry," she whispered, looking down at the counter separating us. As she returned her gaze to me, she looked almost hurt. "It's just… you disappeared Bella. We were all so worried about you. Have you been here in Seattle all this time?"

"For the most part, yes," I conceded. I noticed a girl approaching the stand behind Alice, and I was grateful for an excuse for this conversation to be over.

"I'm sorry Alice; I don't mean to be rude. But I have some customers behind you I need to take care of." She glanced behind her and slumped her shoulders.

"Oh," she whispered.

"9.50," I said, holding out my hand. She quickly reached into her purse and handed me the exact amount.

"Will you be here when I get out of my movie?" she asked hopefully.

I frowned, reminded that there were three more hours left on my shift. "Yep," I said, trying to put on a smile for her. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. "Unless I'm fired, that is," I joked.

"Well, I'll see you in a bit then," she smiled, accepting my answer.

"See you," I nodded. She turned and left, almost skipping to her theater. I chuckled at her strange enthusiasm that I remembered from high school.

I was still staring after Alice when I heard "Um, hello?" in a nasally voice. I turned to see a tall bleach blonde standing expectantly in front of me with her hands on her his. She was wearing an extremely revealing, bright pink tank top riding up her stomach. I had to suppress a laugh at how ridiculous she looked wearing that in October.

"What can I get you?" I asked, giving her my attention.

"Um, like, I bought this popcorn before," she said, holding up a half empty, large bucket of popcorn. "And, like, when I ordered it, I asked for no butter, but this, like, totally has butter on it."

"Okay," I sighed, not sure what she wanted me to do.

"Well, can I get some, like, new popcorn, that's not covered in that nasty stuff?"  
she asked rudely.

"Sure," I replied. I went to grab the bucket from her, and she reluctantly gave it to me. I dumped out the remaining popcorn in the trash and went to refill it when she scoffed behind me. I turned around.

"Is there a problem?" I asked her incredulously.

"Well, I need a new bucket! That one's soaked in nasty butter! Duh," she sneered. Was this girl for real?

"I'm sorry," I said, not sorry in the least. "Those tubs are inventoried, so I can't just give you a new one."

"But you guys are the ones who messed up my order!" she practically screamed. God, this girl was the epitome of bitchy. She was seriously pushing my limit.

"Well," I retorted slowly. "You can pay six bucks for a new bucket if you want." There was now a small line forming behind this girl. I hoped she would hurry up.

"Look," she said pointedly, leaning over the counter to poke me in the chest. "I don't know who you think you are, and frankly I don't care! You're just a stupid nobody working for minimum wage in a movie theater!" Well she was right about the minimum wage. "Now be a good little worker, and get me my popcorn before I decided to get you fired!" So much for pushing my limit; my limit was long gone.

"Listen, Blondie," I replied just as pointedly. "I don't know who you think you are, but I already told you I can't just give you a new bucket! If you're that hungry, why don't you finish the rest of your buttered popcorn, which you've clearly already eaten most of? Now if there's nothing else, can you please get your bony ass out of my line!" I was leaning over the counter now as well, and our faces were maybe three inches apart. She was fuming, but I was smirking.

"I may have a bony ass, but at least I'm not fat!" God, this girl was giving the most cliché comeback. I wasn't even fat! I decided to follow her lead on the cliché front.

"I may be fat, but you'll always be ugly, and I can diet," I said, calmly this time.

Her face bright red, she stomped her foot and let out a screech. God, what was she, twelve? Instead of making her way back to the theaters, she stomped all the way to customer service. That couldn't end well…

She was complaining to Kathy now, and I could tell it wasn't going well at all. She repeatedly pointed over to me, and shaking her hand in Kathy's face. Now I knew I was in trouble. If there was one thing Kathy hated, it was getting yelled at by customers. And since she couldn't take it out on them, she would most definitely take it out on me.

I sighed, ignoring my customers, waiting for the inevitable.

"Bella!" Kathy called from across the lobby. "Get over here!"

I made my way over there, knowing I was about to be fired. That sucked. It took me a while to find this job, and I wasn't looking forward to finding a new one. I was contemplating different options for places to apply when I reached customer service.

"Yes, Kathy?" I asked, trying to sound innocent.

"Did you call this customer," she gestured to Blondie, "ugly, and tell her that she had a bony ass?" she asked me, daring me to lie. I figured there was no point in trying to defend myself. Evil blondes tend to stick together.

"Yes, I did," I replied confidently.

"I am so sorry, ma'am," Kathy said, turning to Blondie. Back to me, she continued, "Bella, that was completely inappropriate. Don't bother finishing out your shift, and don't bother coming back. You're fired." Wow, didn't see that one coming.

I considered letting her have it, telling her exactly how much I enjoyed spending this past week with her, but decided she wasn't worth my breath. I settled for rolling my eyes.

Without saying anything, I turned around and made my way towards the exit, groaning in frustration when I heard Kathy offering her free movie passes to 'better her movie experience'. I burst through one of the sets of double doors, with no more thoughts of Alice.

As I was making my way down the street, I shrugged out of the ugly maroon polo I had to wear for my uniform, and tossed it into a dumpster I passed. No need for that anymore. Unfortunately, it was a chilly October night, and I was only sporting a white tank top underneath.

With my arms hugging my torso, and my eyes on my feet, I made my way to Alex's flat, which was only a six minute walk away. I had been living there for over a year now. I met Alex through a friend, and he was nice enough to offer me his place to crash as long as I needed to. I hadn't realized then that he expected me to use his bed, which freaked me out at first. But he was an okay guy, and I really needed a place to stay at the time.

Once my stay became permanent, I started paying rent, but it wasn't much to complain about. On average, there were maybe 8 people splitting the rent, which considerably brought the price down. And there was a small pool that everyone had to contribute in to cover some house essentials: alcohol, weed, and food. In total, I had to pay maybe 50 a week. And if you couldn't pay, you were out.

I wasn't exactly ecstatic about my current living situation, but it's not like I had a better offer. And plus, I had a lot of good friends that stayed with me, and I definitely enjoyed their company. They were all very easy to get along with, possibly attributed to the fact they smoked weed 24/7. Still, it was an agreeable atmosphere, and a convenient place to work on my art. It was also conveniently located; just outside of downtown Seattle. Easy access to transportation, and a decent number of things to do nearby.

I finally reached my destination, a small, cheap looking gray house packed into a long line of houses, small buildings and various businesses lining the side of the busy road I was on. Alex's flat was the second floor, so I made my way up the stairs on the right side of the house. Since there was always someone home, the door was always unlocked, and Alex was the only one with keys.

I opened the door, and had to pause to adjust to the lighting. There was one random black light in the corner of the main room, and a weak lamp in the kitchen. After I had my bearings, I made my way towards Alex's bedroom, one of two bedrooms in the whole flat. I walked past the kitchen, which wasn't even its' own room, just an extension of the main living area. There were a couple couches placed haphazardly around a small television in the main area, neither of which I would consider sleeping on, but some people did. Right now, there were a few people sitting there passing around a joint.

There was also a lot of empty space in the back, where a couple of mattresses were strewn about. Depending on how many people were crashing here, they weren't always used. The mattress in the second bedroom was more desired because of the privacy.

Now, however, we had a full house, and my two friends Holly and Coral were using the mattress in the corner. As I passed them, I waved hi, and they quickly waved back, turning their attention back to the music they were listening to.

After softly knocking on the door, I walked in to find Alex sleeping buck naked on our mattress. I paused for a second, appreciating his nicely toned body, wishing he could always be asleep. Knowing that he wanted me to wake him up when I got back from work, I walked over to him, knelt down, and gently rubbed his back.

"Hey baby, I'm home." I hoped he wouldn't want to have sex now, I just wanted to sleep.

He yawned, and rolled over with a smile stretched across his face. "Bella, I missed you." He pulled me down towards him and proceeded to kiss me. Alex wasn't a bad kisser, but it was kind of boring and did nothing for me. I would rather do without, but he seemed to like it, so I complied. "How was work?" he eventually asked.

"Well…" I trailed off. He was never happy when I got fired from a job. He liked being able to rely on me for extra cash if he came up short, which was often.

"Wait, where's your uniform?" he asked. Uh-oh.

"I got fired," I finally said, softly.

"Bella," he sighed frustratingly. "That was a good job. How is it that you manage to lose every job you get?" His voice was rising, and he was glaring at me, ready to start a fight, something I definitely did not want to do with him. They usually got pretty heated, and sometimes he got violent.

"It wasn't my fault! The customer was a complete bitch and practically called me white trash! And my manager was no better! I swear all blondes are evil!"

He wasn't buying it.

"Well obviously you did something wrong if you got fired! What are you going to do about money now?" He was practically yelling at me. Our fights used to be really embarrassing since everyone in the apartment could hear everything, but they got used to it eventually, as did I.

I decided to play all the cards I had, anything to avoid a drawn out argument.

"I'm sorry, baby," I sighed dejectedly, while tracing my fingers up the center of his flat stomach up to his chest and back again. I knew this would sidetrack him. "I promise I'll get a new job right away."

He was visibly calming to my touch. "Tomorrow?" he asked, though I knew it wasn't a question.

"I'll go out tomorrow morning," I agreed.

"Good," he grunted. I attempted to pull my hand away from his chest, but he held onto it. "Where do you think you're going?" he asked playfully.

I didn't say anything. He then grabbed my hips and roughly pulled me onto him so I was straddling his own hips. I mentally sighed, knowing he was definitely in the mood now. Slowly, he ran his hands under my tank top and up my sides, lifting it over my head. Alex was impatient tonight, and in record time, my pants were off.

While I waited for him to finish up, I continued to think about the different places I might be able to apply for a job tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Jim's Café

I woke up early that morning to the sound of Alex's snoring. I rolled over on the mattress and stuffed my head under my pillow, hoping to drown out the annoying noise, but it was not happening. Sighing into the sheets, I eventually got up. Usually, I could sleep through his snoring, but once I was up, there was no falling back asleep.

Besides the mattress and a saggy bean bag chair in the corner, there was no other furniture in the room, since nothing else would really fit. It was a queen size mattress, and it took up a lot of room.

I walked over to the far wall, and opened the closet to pick out some clothes for the day. There wasn't much to choose from, and I knew I would have to do laundry soon. I picked a long-sleeved white cotton shirt and a black tank top to go underneath, since the shirt was a little see through. I only had a few pairs of jeans that I rotated between, so I picked my favorite ones. They hung low on my hips and made my ass look great, or so I'd been told. I grabbed some underwear and a towel, and headed to the bathroom.

Before I walked out the door, I wrapped the towel around my naked body in case anyone else was awake yet. I'd had one too many awkward situations where I would walk completely naked from Alex's room to the bathroom in the middle of the night, thinking everyone was asleep, when in fact they weren't.

As I neared the bathroom, I noticed both mattresses were occupied by four people, and both couches looked crammed. There was even a random person sprawled out in just his underwear on the ground. It looked uncomfortable.

I took my time in the shower since no one was waiting on me, shaving my legs and scrubbing my whole body squeaky clean. Memories of cleaning those disgusting bathrooms yesterday made me scrub harder. When I finished, I quickly dried off and dressed. Normally I wouldn't bother with drying my hair, but I wanted to make a good impression for job hunting today.

When I walked out of the bathroom, a few people were up, including Holly, Coral, and the guy in his underwear. He was making coffee in the kitchen, and Holly and Coral were stretching.

"Hey ladies," I said, joining them on their mattress.

"Hey Bells," Holly yawned. She was wearing nothing but a tight T-shirt and some skimpy panties. Her short auburn hair, usually straight and neat, was now sticking up in all directions.

"Morning, Bella," Coral chimed in. Coral was wearing sweatpants and a tank top. She had beautiful dark olive skin, and dark wavy hair.

"Ant plans for today?" I asked.

"Not me," Holly replied, stretching again.

"I was thinking about heading over to Chris's actually," Coral admitted. Coral and Chris had been 'seeing each other' for a while now, but weren't officially dating, which I thought was ridiculous. They were obviously crazy about each other.

"Tell Chris I said hi, I haven't seen him in a while." The last time I saw him was a few weeks ago, at his last party.

"Sure thing. So, where are you off to this early in the morning?" she asked.

"Ah, I have to find a new job," I admitted sheepishly.

"Hmm…" Holly sighed. "Is that what your argument was about last night? You lost your job?"

"Yeah. Alex definitely wasn't thrilled with the news."

"He didn't sound _too_ mad," Holly said.

"Ya, he got distracted…" I trailed off, frowning slightly. When I looked up, they were both giving me knowing looks. I didn't have to say it; they both could tell I wasn't really thrilled being with Alex. But I didn't want their pity; it just made me more uncomfortable.

I got up, not wanting to see where this conversation was undoubtedly headed.

"Well, I'm out," I told them. "And hopefully when I come back, I'll be employed." It shouldn't be too hard to find a job…

I slipped on my clogs and my navy blue hooded pullover, and glanced at the time on the microwave, which read 8:41 AM. Hopefully I could be back in a couple hours.

* * *

Three hours, and twelve "I'm sorry, we're not hiring now"s later, I found myself further into downtown Seattle than I would have liked. It was maybe a thirty minute walk, and I never used the bus. But I needed a job before I went back to Alex.

I was walking past a café, but stopped when a sign in the window caught my eye. "Help needed," it read, and I practically squealed in joy. Without hesitation, I pushed open the door, momentarily startled by the jingle of bells my entranced caused. For a second, all eyes turned 

to me, and just as quickly, they went back to whatever they were doing. I felt a blast of heat, and quickly shrugged off my pullover.

It was a cute café, with four booths against the walls, and five rounded tables spread out in the middle, which I estimated could seat four each. I made my way to the counter in the back. The employee, who looked about my age, was bent over the counter, with his head resting on his folded arms. He looked like he could be sleeping.

"Excuse me?" I asked, trying not to sound rude or annoying, like customers usually did.

"Huh?" he grunted, lifting his head up. When he saw me, the rest of his body shot up. "Oh, sorry," he said, grinning. He then looked me up and down, blatantly checking me out, when his eyes finally rested on my face. I suppressed the urge to slap him.

"Can I help you?" he asked hopefully. I assessed him quickly, figuring him to be a preppy jock from the local university. He had his blonde hair spiked up in an obvious attempt to look casual, when in reality it probably took him two hours and a bottle of gel to style. And it didn't even look that good.

"Ya, actually," I finally said. "I saw the 'help needed' sign in the door, and was hoping to talk to a manager about it."

"Oh, really?" He sounded surprised and excited at the same time. Maybe it was too much caffeine, or maybe just him, but either way, I could tell he would get on my nerves if I had to spend extended time with him. "That's great!" he exclaimed. "Hold on, let me go get Jim." He turned towards the back and called loudly "Jim!"

A balding middle aged guy came out of the back, looking annoyed and tired.

"Mike," he grumbled. "What is it now? Please don't tell me you forgot the code to the register again…"

"N-no sir, this girl here was asking about the help sign in the window," replied a slightly flushed Mike. Jim turned to me, with a polite smile.

"Lookin' for a job?" he asked me with hope.

"As a matter of fact, I am," I smiled in return.

"Jim Korman," he said, holding out his hand. I took his hand to shake it.

"Bella Swan."

"Why don't we have a seat and see what we can come up with," he suggested, leading me to one of the empty booths. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Oh, um, no thanks," I replied. I wasn't sure if he expected me to pay for it, and I had no cash on me. We took our seats on opposite sides of the table. He then looked closely at me.

"You're over sixteen, right?" he asked. Did I really look that young?

"Eighteen," I said, trying to keep a smile on my face.

"Good. Now, do you have any experience with serving or making coffee?"

"Definitely," I answered. I then began to list all the food and customer service related jobs I'd had in the past couple years. Tactfully, I left a few off the list because I didn't want to sound too fickle. It wasn't my fault that I kept getting stuck with shitty jobs and shitty managers.

At the sound of a loud crash, we both turned towards the commotion to see Mike on all fours picking up cups and plates and stacking them on a tray. "Sorry," he yelled in our direction. "I'll run them through dish again!" I had to suppress a laugh.

"That's Mike, by the way," Jim said, turning back to me. "To be honest, you're a godsend right now. I don't know how much longer I can handle Mike working on his own. He's been working here for two weeks now, and he still doesn't know the difference between an Espresso and a Cappuccino."

"Well," I laughed, "I've been drinking coffee my whole life, so you wouldn't have to worry about that with me."

We chatted for a few more minutes, and he told me about his café, which apparently was called Jim's Café. Then he exaggeratingly threw his hands in the air and exclaimed "Well, I can't think of any reason not to hire you."

"Really?" I asked, surprised. Normally, they take your information and promise to call you back, even though they usually don't. "That's great," I declared.

He asked me if I could work mornings during the week, and I agreed that would be fine. When I asked how soon I could start, he laughed and said, "How about tomorrow?" That was fine with me.

"What about dress code?" I asked. "Is there a uniform?" I quickly glanced over to Mike, who was wearing an off-white ugly knit top with black pants, and prayed that wasn't the uniform.

Jim followed my gaze and chuckled. "No, there is no uniform. Just wear a white top and black bottoms. Just nothing too revealing, okay?"

"That sounds good," I nodded, happy with the dress code. I was used to vests, or polos, or overly revealing skirts and tops. Then I remembered my nose ring, lip ring, and studs, which I forgot to put back in last night.

"Do you have any problems with facial piercings?" I asked innocently.

He folded his arms in front of his chest. "What are we talking?"

"Well," I started. "I have three piercings in each ear, a nose ring and a lip ring." Gauging his reaction, I continued, "But I can keep them out if you want…"

"Hmm… I don't see any problems with that. My 23 year old daughter has a bunch of piercings and tattoos. I think it's important to be able to express yourself." He winked at me and laughed. I sighed in relief. Despite the distance, working here might not be so bad.

"So we'll see you at 8am tomorrow?" he asked.

"I'll be here," I promised. As I was attempting to get up, he stopped me.

"How about some lunch before you go?"

"Oh," I said shyly. "I actually don't have any money on me right now."

"Oh, nonsense. It's on the house!" Now that I thought about it, I was hungry.

"I guess a free lunch never did anyone any harm," I smiled.

"Good!" he exclaimed. "Let me just get you a menu."

I ordered a chicken salad sandwich and ate it quickly. It was surprisingly good, adding on to my optimistic feeling about my new job. Nice manager, easy dress code, and good food. If only it were closer to Alex's. Maybe if I could manage to carry cash on me, I could actually take the bus every now and then. Alex wouldn't like it, since he liked to commandeer all my extra cash, but he wouldn't necessarily have to know.

After waving goodbye to Jim, I quickly made my way back to the flat. Once I got back, I glanced to the microwave to check the time, noting 3:11, but my attention immediately shifted to the left. A tall guy with wavy dirty blonde hair, with his back to me, was making a sandwich next to the sink.

"Barry!" I shouted in excitement. He quickly turned around, his face lighting up when he recognized me.

"Bells! Come here and give me a hug!" He held out his arms, and I didn't hesitate to run into them.

"How've you been?" I asked into his chest. Barry had his own place a couple blocks away, but he came to visit sometimes. The last time I saw him was maybe two weeks ago.

"Oh, you know, same old same old." He released me and leaned back against the counter behind him. "Alex said you were job hunting today?"

"Ya. Is Alex around here?" I asked hesitantly, quickly glancing around.

"Nah," he shrugged. "He went out a while ago. Said he had something to do."

I nodded. I wasn't sure if he would be happy or not about the job I got, and how far away it was.

"So did you get a job?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"As a matter of fact, I did," I replied, smirking. "It's downtown, a place called Jim's Café. I think it's near that university."

"SUAS?" he asked.

"Yeah, that's it."

"Well, I'll have to come down and visit you sometime. Wouldn't want to miss an opportunity to get served by my favorite waitress, now would I." He smiled jokingly. Barry and I met just after I moved to Seattle when we both worked at the same restaurant. Since then, he often referred to me as his 'favorite waitress.'

"Where's your metal?" he asked, catching me momentarily off guard.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, but quickly realized what he meant. "Oh!" I exclaimed. I then ran to the bathroom to find my earrings, nose and lip ring.

When I emerged, Barry clapped his hands together once and exclaimed, "There's the Bella I know and love." I laughed at that. Barry was a good friend to me, and always knew how to make me laugh. He really was a great guy.

We chatted a bit longer as he finished his sandwich. When he was done, I asked, "You want a drink?"

"Sure," He replied, heading to the fridge. After grabbing a couple beers, we made our way to the vacant couch and turned the TV on. An old rerun of Family Guy was running, which was always promising. After a few minutes, Barry pulled a baggy out of his side pocket filled with weed, and some rolling paper. After skillfully rolling a joint, he lit up and inhaled. In my prior life, watching someone light up a joint in front of me would most likely have left me extremely uncomfortable. Not that it ever happened though.

Now, however, I was used to it. After taking a good sized hit, he casually passed it to me, and I casually accepted. I took a large hit and relaxed back into the couch, waiting for the high.

It wasn't that I enjoyed being high, or even drunk for that matter. I guess it just made it easier to live this life. It made this lifestyle make sense. I didn't have to think about the past, or the future. I didn't have to think about anything I didn't want to think about.

Sober, I was in pain and I was numb all at the same time. I couldn't deal with the things that threatened to tear me apart, so it all just built up inside me, threatening to ruin me from the inside. It was a short term solution to something that was sure to come back and swallow me whole. But I didn't think about that. I guess you could say I was jaded to the world around me. Things that should have scared me, or angered me, or hurt me, or surprised me; they just kept happening, and I found myself just not caring.

I may not have always recognized the pain, but was always there.

I sighed, taking the joint again and inhaling hard. I felt my head fall back and smiled. When I was high, it didn't hurt anymore.

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**Reviews are much appreciated, as well with advice and ideas :) thanks!**

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